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Alternate Titles: "It's Like Nine Xs" or "The Metal Vagina"
- Tonight's Beverages: Labatt Blue (Dirk); Panty Dropper (Otto)
- Mop-Up: Did Passengers bomb? Carrie Fisher's script doctoring and Dan Ackroyd's tribute revealing they'd been engaged.
- Referenced: Sarah Polley in Go:
- Announcement that we'll be likely cutting back on our production schedule.
- Dirk's broken toof issues.
- Dirk is co-hosting the 30th Anniversary Erotic Music & Poetry Festival. Last year's hilarious visit with poet Dena Luckett and our show with co-host The Impaler.
- We discuss the 2017 Oscar nominations.
- Referenced: The best Emma Stone-Ryan Gosling scene from Crazy Stupid Love:
- Fact Check: Mahershala Ali's character on Luke Cage is Cottonmouth.
- Referenced: A look at the blue screen jungle of The Jungle Book:
- First Music Break: Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Y Control"
- Fresh Off The Boat actress Constance Wu's war against Casey Affleck and the supposed parallel to The Birth of A Nation star-writer-director Nate Parker.
- Anti-white SJWs are still not happy about the Oscars.
- Rotten Tomatoes rankings of Oscar-nominated Best Pictures.
- The previously expected nominees who fizzled out.
- Sitcom producer-writer Rob Long on "Why Hollywood Should Already Know How to Handle Trump."
- Joss Whedon's unhinged rage as he wants Speaker of the House Paul Ryan raped to death by a rhino, attacks Nicole Kidman's looks, and is suspected of threatening DGA members with blacklisting. (However, he probably didn't call Ivanka Trump a dog. Baby steps.)
- Melissa Benoist's dumb anti-Trump sign, but Zoe Saldana shows self-awareness of liberals' problems.
- Taylor Swift is being attacked for being apolitical.
- Second Music Break: Moev, "In and Out"
- Black Panther starts shooting and Martin Freeman is spotted on set.
- Logan has an R-rating and new red-band trailer with gratuitous profanity:
- Episode VIII is now Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
- Why Leia was at the end of Rogue One and how it justifies R2-D2 and C-3PO's cameo.
- Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith redubbed with mistranslated Chinese bootleg subtitles:
- John Williams doesn’t think his Star Wars scores are memorable?!
- The odd-looking teaser for Yummy Girl's Colossal:
- Dirk reviews XXX, XXX: The Return of Xander Cage, XXX: State of the Union, and The Autopsy of Jane Doe.
- Referenced: The XXX scene:
- Third Music Break: Matthew Good Band, "Load Me Up"; Joan Jett, "Love Is All Around"
- RIP: Mary Tyler Moore; Miguel Ferrar; Tony Rosato (SCTV, SNL - transcript of the referenced "American Jigaboo" skit).
- The Walking Dead's Sonequa Martin-Green cast as Number One on Star Trek Discovery which has been delayed indefinitely.
- TWD executive producer Gale Anne Hurd says they've toned down the violence.
- Jerry Seinfeld's Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee ditches Crackle for Netflix and he gets raked over the coals by Twitter SJWs for a pun.
- Netflix is killing it by spending billions on original content.
- Marvel announces an Avengers game developed my Crystal Dynamics.
- The new Nougat-based firmware for the original 2015 Nvidia SHIELD TV console is out, FINALLY bringing Amazon Video.
- ScarJo is back on the market.
Unused Alternate Titles: "A Friend Who Lives In Canada and Is Totally Real" or "Slumdog Pi" or "Meaty & Juicy In A Good Way" or "Tough Break, Movies" or "He's A Commissioned Fantastic" or "The Other Hermione" or "A New Coat of Awesome" or "As Slam-Dunky As It Gets" or "Brown Actors Don't Matter" or "Shut Up and Do The Work" or "White Snow Goth" or "A Vaguely Damp Crimson Equine-Shaped Stain" or "The Terrible Mother of Ordinary People"
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