Thursday, December 29, 2016

Episode #142 - "Drowned In Moonlight, Strangled By Her Own Bra" - Show Notes

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Alternate Title: "Death & The OA"
  • Tonight's Beverages: Water (Dirk); White Russian (Otto)
  • Note: The first few words of Dirk's intro weren't recorded due to his not hitting the button early enough.
  • Explanation on how this is a special addendum episode that we put on during what has been scheduled as an off day for the holidays, but events demanded we return to the hanger to discuss the passings of George Michael, Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, seen here in 1973 when Carrie was 16:
  • RIP Carrie Fisher and we process our feels.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Episode #141 - "Gingerbread Hitler: Target Greeter" - Show Notes

Download Episode (146MB, Running Time: 5h 21m!!)

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Alternate Titles: "Fuzznuts Adventures In Dateland" or "Rogue 69" or "Really Hungry For Arby's All Of The Sudden" or "Christian Bale's Eye Wart" or "It's Late and I'm Drunk"
  • Tonight's Beverages: Ococim, Tyskie, SSS beers (Dirk & Otto); Panty Dropper (strawberry lemonade and rum - Otto)
  • We're back after one week, Bob "I'm Gonna Kill Somebody" Koski is in the house, and why the podcasts are posting out of order.
  • Greeting to new FaceSpace Likers and the tons of FREE stuff they had a chance of getting.
  • New celeb nudie leaks from Lucy Hale and Leelee Sobieski are talked about (because to look at the pictures would be wrong) as well as Rose McGowan's sex tape. 
  • Referenced: Gingerbread Hitler:

Friday, December 16, 2016

Episode #140 - "Cheap & Meaty" - Show Notes

Download Episode (89MB, Running Time: 3h 15m)

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Alternate Title: "Threw It All Away To Marry Deadpool"
  • Tonight's Beverages: Labatt Ice (Dirk); Panty Dropper (lemonade and cherry rum - Otto)
  • We're back after another unexpectedly long hiatus.
  • The tons of FREE stuff FaceSpace Likers were tipped to.
  • Dirk recaps his Black Friday exploits. 
  • Referenced: How to trap James Woods on Family Guy:
  • Mop-up for last episode including Reddit is tearing itself apart and their CEO was a dick editing Trump fans' posts and Facebook to use fake news sites to vet news for being fake.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Episode #139 - "Sensitive Tiger Beat Hair" - Show Notes

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Alternate Titles: "Schrödinger's Glam Singer" or "The Sorcerer Supreme of Having Everyone Hate Me"
  • Tonight's Beverages: Labatt Ice and Blue (Dirk); CharCher (strawberry lemonade and black [something] rum - Otto)
  • We're back after an unexpectedly long hiatus.
  • Greeting to new FaceSpace Likers and the tons of FREE stuff they were tipped to.
  • We deep dive into the first four episodes of S7 of The Walking Dead.
  • Torture your own greasy bloke in the closet with this!

Friday, October 21, 2016

Episode #138 - "Drunk & Sloppy End First" - Show Notes

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Alternate Titles:  "Sandy Vagina Guy Bands" or "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Damon" or "Boned Up On Joe Tex"
  • Tonight's Beverages: Warsteiner Oktoberfest beer (everyone)
  • Bob "I'm Gonna Kill Somebody" Koski is back for the second episode in a row. 
  • We're drunk.
  • Greeting to new FaceSpace Likers.
  • The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame nomination for 2017 are out and we run down the merits (or lack thereof) of the contenders.
  • Referenced: Cocaine Bear!
  • Referenced: The Harley Quinn-Deadpool spoof of the Janet Jackson Rolling Stone cover that Dirk has a shirt with:
  • First Music Break: The Cult, "The Witch"

Friday, October 7, 2016

Episode #137 - "Frisky & Risky" - Show Notes

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Alternate Title: "Using The Whole Iron Fist, Doc?"
  • Tonight's Beverages: Okocim Beer (Dirk & Bob), Sassy  (Captain Morgan's Clear White Rum and pink lemonade) and Royal Ballslap (Crown Royal and hard cider) (Otto)
  • Bob "I'm Gonna Kill Somebody" Koski is in the house for the first time in five months! 
  • Greeting to new FaceSpace Likers.
  • Where we've been in the past couple of weeks with Dirk's playing rock star for a couple of gigs. 
  • What Bob's been up to in the time he's been off transferring vintage John Sinclair tapes.
  • The reason Issac Hayes quit South Park as noted in last episode's show notes. 
  • Dirk's Bargain Ninja® fail over his continuing video card purchases.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Episode #136 - "More Accurate Than Sex Panther" - Show Notes

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Alternate Title: "Always Be Our Hatchet Face"
Unused Alternate Titles: "Nubian Warrior Princess" or "I Was Pounding That" or "PHRASING!" or "The Pepsi Clear of Rum" or "On Tenterhooks Here" or "Sword Is Cooling In The Bucket" or "Clown Hair" or "Phrasing Has Made Me Sad Now" or "Coloring Book For MSNBC Viewers" or "Cute When The Girls Do It" or "Most Self-Absorbing Thing Ever" or "Speaking of Big Person Pants" or "Shark Is In The Salsa" or "Go Downtown Brown With Otto" or "People Who Watch Bug Zappers For Fun"

    Friday, September 2, 2016

    Episode #135 - "It Wasn't ISIS, It Was Penis" - Show Notes

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    Alternate Titles: "Yuppie F*ck Bar To Douchebag Cafe" or "Smells Like Middle-Aged Funk" or "Icon To The Soulless Ginger Community"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Pepsi, water (Dirk), Ottopilot (Otto)
    • Referenced: How the Scriptnotes podcast is edited.
    • Greetings and cheap stuff for new FaceSpace Likers.
    • Otto's NASCAR weekend and Foxfest report. Dirk's photos:
      Foxfest 2016
    • Another installment of Tales of the Bargain Ninja® in which Dirk buys a new video card, a physical PC copy of DOOM and has price-match drama over a wristwatch. Also: You must buy graham crackers at Costco.

    Friday, August 19, 2016

    Episode #134 - "Salma Hayek's Bisexual Taco" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (50MB, Running Time: 1h 49m)

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    Alternate Title: "Sexual Harassment Captain of the Galaxy"

    Friday, August 12, 2016

    Episode #133 - "All I Wanted Was A Pepsi" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (69MB, Running Time: 2h 30m)

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    Alternate Title: "Not Particularly Interesting Things" 

    Friday, August 5, 2016

    Episode #132 - "Fun & Malfeasance" - Show Notes

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    Alternate Titles: "Delivering Pizza To The Orgy" or "Mary Poppins vs. Nickelback"

    Friday, July 29, 2016

    Episode #131 - "Gay Porn in a Jungle with Machine Guns" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (96MB, Running Time: 3h 30m)

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    Alternate Titles: "SHUT THE F*CK UP, KONGIE!" or "Second Look Douches"

    Friday, July 15, 2016

    Episode #130 - "Pokemon & Circuses" - Show Notes

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    Alternate Title: "We're Not Japanese Businessmen Here"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Labatt Ice (Dirk), Ottopilot (Otto)
    • Fun Fact: Otto's dog is named after a Pokemon.
    • Apologies for not announcing there was no show last week.
    • Introductory whatnot and FaceSpace deals for our new Likers.
    • Sorry, the only Hamm & Buble video out there is some potato version shot off a screen; the official SNL channel doesn't have it.
    • Notes on our summer production schedule and how to deal with the miserable outside world.
    • Report on Bob "I'm gonna kill somebody" Koski's birthday shindig.
    • Why Dirk wears a watch. (Yes, this came up as a question.)

    Friday, July 1, 2016

    Episode #129 - "Valyrian Steel In My Pants" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (64MB, Running Time: 2h 20m)

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    Alternate Titles: "Who's Gonna Pay The Hooker?" or "Westeros Bullet Train Europass" or "A Girl Has Hyperspeed"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Labatt Ice (Dirk), Ottopilot (Otto)
    • Introductory whatnot and FaceSpace deals for our new Likers.
    • Dirk mashed up the Quicksilver scene from X-Men: Apocalypse with Rush's "Tom Sawyer" and we discuss the result. Unfortunately, we can't post it anywhere. :(
    • Report on last weekend's performance of Satori Circus' Funy As Hell and his upcoming appearance in The Wizard of Odd.

    Friday, June 17, 2016

    Episode #128 - "Loki Gettin' Lucky" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (57MB, Running Time: 2h 5m)

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    Alternate Title: "He's A Teen, He's A Wolf, You Know, Wolf Teen!"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Labatt Ice (Dirk), Molson XXX (Otto)
    • Introductory whatnot - including a mistaken promise of a short show - and a slew of FaceSpace deals for our new Likers.
    • Mop-up from previous episodes.
    • Hacker claims to have 360M MySpace passwords. Oh. No. 

    Friday, June 10, 2016

    Episode #127 - "Sharknado For Pre-Teen Girls" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (34MB, Running Time: 75m)

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    Alternate Title: "Will Talk For Free Games"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Water (Dirk), Ottopilot (Otto)
    • Introductory whatnot and a slew of FaceSpace deals for our new Likers.
    • Mop-up from previous episodes.
    • Prince died of a fentanyl overdose.
    • A Tale of the Bargain Ninja® buying a Blu-ray box set.
    • Dirk is missing the NXNE Music Festival for the first time since 2000 due to the radical changes they've made.

    Friday, May 13, 2016

    Episode #125 - "The One With Ming Chen: Comic Book Man" - Show Notes



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    Alternate Titles: "Famous People Poop!" or "Unfrozen Cavemen Super Soldiers"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Labatt Ice (Dirk), Mountain Dew (Otto), Pepsi (Ming)

    • Special Guest: Ming Chen from Comic Book Men; co-host of I Sell Comics podcast; and all around cool frood. Facespace Like him and follow him on Twitter.
    • Referenced: The Shat story is from Episode #45 - "Genocide Or Nickleback"
    • Ming recaps his Michigan roots and how he got Kevin Smith's attention as a University of Michigan site.
    • Fact Check: Dirk did NOT break the 4th Wall because Otto brought up his secret name.
    • We get the scoop on how Comic Book Men is produced.
    • Got cool stuff? Hit www.ComicBookMenCasting.com to apply to appear on the show. 

    Friday, May 6, 2016

    Episode #124 - "Culture Vultures: Civil War" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (69MB, Running Time: 2h 30m)

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    Alternate Titles: "Love In The Purple Kingdom" or "Nobody Wants To Look At Your Grandma Ass!" 

    Friday, April 22, 2016

    Episode #123 - "Funky Dingbat" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (112MB, Running Time: 4h 6m)

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    Alternate Title: "Ice Cube Has The Best Words"

    Friday, April 15, 2016

    Episode #122 - "Only Boinking The Kink" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (69MB, Running Time: 2h 30m)

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    Alternate Title: "Do Ugnaughts Wear Ugg Boots?"

    Friday, April 8, 2016

    Episode #121 - "M. Night Shyamalan's Star 80" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (85MB, Running Time: 3h 7m)

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    Alternate Titles: "Sadistic Schoolgirl Porn" or "Underoos-Destroying Shart"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Okocim (Dirk & Bob); Ottopilot (Otto)
    • Fact Check: Felicitations means "congratulations", not greetings.
    • It's our third anniversary and we've done almost 300 hours in the previous 120 episodes.
    • The usual introductory rigmarole, FaceSpace Likers, mop-up and Otto got his replacement TV.
    • Dirk explains HDCP

    Friday, March 25, 2016

    Episode #120 - "Vigilante Bromance" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (55MB, Running Time: 120m)

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    Alternate Title: "Yawn of Justice"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Simple Times Pilsner (Dirk); Wild Turkey + Diet Pepsi with Lime (Otto)
    • The usual introductory rigmarole, FaceSpace Likers and mop-up.
    • Referenced: Episode #73 - "Thud: God of Carboloading"
    • Using bias lighting to improved perceived contrast for HDTV and reduce eyestrain. Primer here:
    • New Vizio TVs are coming two weeks after Dirk bought last year's model. Of course. Also the pros and cons of extended warranties.
    • Fact Check: Irvine, CA is in Orange County, down by LA, not in Silicon Valley.

    Friday, March 18, 2016

    Episode #119 - "Tales of the Bargain Ninja®" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (55MB, Running Time: 120m)

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    Alternate Title: "Emoji Shrug Thing" 

    Friday, March 11, 2016

    Episode #118 - "Shnook Wind" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (27MB, Running Time: 60m)

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    Alternate Title: "Enjoy Your Garbage"

    Friday, March 4, 2016

    Episode #117 - "Drug Dealing Goofballs" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (69MB, Running Time: 2h 30m)

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    Alternate Titles: "Casting Couch Predator Action" or ""Scott Bakula Trying To Take A Dump Face" or "You Don't Jerk Off, You Hop On It"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Okocim OK Beer (Dirk, Otto, Bob)
    • The usual introductory rigmarole.
    • Recapping last weekend's Erotic Poetry & Music Festival.
    • Discussion of the Oscar winners, Tina Fey's annoyance at the liberal political correctness, Chris Rock's performance and the surprises and controversies.
    • Dirk reviews Spotlight.

    Friday, February 19, 2016

    Episode #116 - "One Girl, Three Hours" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (82MB, Running Time: 3h)

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    Alternate Titles: "All About The Jamming and the Packing" or "We're Not Here To Judge...Yet" or "Only Those Worthy Can Pick Up My Hammer"  or "The Family Hustler" or "We Can Spot It; We Don't Need It Circled" or "Too Fast, Too Crammed, Too Cluttered" or "Hyper Speed Meth Vegas Revue" 

    Friday, February 5, 2016

    Episode #115 - "League of Kinky Gentlemen" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (55MB, Running Time: 2h)

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    Alternate Titles: "The Lighter Side of Binge Drinking" or "Denzel Washington Kills Everyone" or "Hobo Pants Guy" or "Loathsome Reprehensible Vapid Shallow Silly Stupid Dipwad Hollywood Spoiled Princess" or ""Home of the Angry Aggrieved Safe Space Hugbox Feminist"

    Friday, January 29, 2016

    Episode #114 - "More Attractive Than Mere Mortals" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (55MB, Running Time: 2h)

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    Alternate Title: "Horton Hears A Whovian"

    Friday, January 22, 2016

    Episode #113 - "Star Wars: The Country Song" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (81MB, Running Time: 2h 57m)

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    Alternate Titles: "Magneto's Executive Ball Thing" or "Leo DiCaprio Raped By A Bear"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Okocim beer and Mountain Dew (Everyone)
    • Explanation of the editing of this week's show.
    • Greetings to new FaceSpace Likers and the freebies/deals they got.
    • First Music Break: David Bowie, "Never Get Old", "Reality", "New Killer Star"
    • We begin our full-spoilers discussion of Star Wars: The Force Awakens with looking at its box office take after a month.

    Friday, January 15, 2016

    Episode #112 - "A Marshmallow Atop A Coal Bin" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (96MB, Running Time: 3h 30m)

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    Alternate Title: "Where Am I Going To Get A Kangaroo?!"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Okocim beer and Mountain Dew (Everyone)
    • Explanation of the editing of this week's show.
    • Greetings to new FaceSpace Likers and the freebies/deals they got and mop-up from the previous episode.
    • Coverage of the Golden Globes pottymouth antics.

    Friday, January 8, 2016

    Episode #111 - "Dirk Solo" - Show Notes

    Download Episode (55MB, Running Time: 2h)

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    Alternate Title: "I Am The Culture Vulture"
    • Tonight's Beverages: Pepsi Max, water (Dirk)
    • Dirk is flying solo this week for the first time ever.
    • Greetings to new FaceSpace Likers and the freebies/deals they got.
    • Talk about the blockbuster success of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and the backlash against it by contrarian trolls and J.J. Abrams bashers.